Gradeschool
Brendon Urie/Jon Walker; Panic! At The Disco
PG; for tragedy for Valentine’s Day and a general pick-me-up. I ♥ you.



It wasn’t that Brendon was annoying, really. Well, he was annoying, because he talked all the time, or sang all the time. The kid even talked in his sleep.

So when Jon first joined the band, it drove him crazy. He lost sleep listening to Brendon just chattering away in his. It actually kept him awake, and he was used to falling asleep to drunk people on The Academy’s bus. It was just weird.

The best part was that Brendon didn’t even believe that he did it, despite the fact that Ryan had recorded it once and played it back as proof. Brendon hadn’t even believed it was really him on the tape. Spencer videoed him talking in his sleep and he didn’t believe that, either.

Jon couldn’t figure out whether he was really in denial or just a brat, sometimes.

It wasn’t just the talking that was annoying. Brendon had absolutely no concept of personal space and it seemed like, well, everyone else was just used to it. If Ryan was laying on the couch and Brendon came in and sprawled out on top of him, Ryan would just grunt and make a little squished noise, but he wouldn’t fight it. Apparently, it did no good to fight it.

“Jon Walker Jon Walker Jon Walker,” Brendon said, sprawling out on the couch and putting his head directly into Jon’s lap as Jon raised his hands up to keep the controller to the game out of the way. Once Brendon had made himself comfortable in Jon’s lap, he started talking. “We should hang out more.”

“We live on the same bus,” Jon said, and lowered his hands, putting his hands down on Brendon’s face and making the other boy protest.

“But we should like, hang out, Jon, seriously. Get to know each other. You know, talk.”

Jon paused the game and put the controller aside to take a moment to gape at Brendon. “Are you serious? You never shut up!”

“I do too! I don’t talk in my sleep!”

“You and I both know that that is bullshit.”

“Is not.”

“Spencer got you on video doing it. How can you dispute when all evidence points to you being guilty.”

“It was faked!”

“Your mouth was moving and you were obviously asleep. Do not pass go do not collect 200 dollars?”

“You are a strange little man, Jon Walker.”

“Pot, meet kettle.”

“I hate you.”

“You love me.”

“Don’t.”

“Do.”

“Don’t.”

“You realize that you’re like, a five-year-old kid, right?”

“Am not.”

“Are too.”

“Am not.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake.” Jon stood up, letting Brendon’s head bang down onto the couch. Brendon made a sad little noise then and pouted up at Jon.

“Don’t you love me anymore, Jon Walker?” Brendon pouted at him.

“I never loved you in the first place,” Jon said, making a face at him and moving to the other side of the lounge with his controller to continue his game.

“What?” Brendon asked. “No, you love me. Loved me. I think I’m going to go sulk and cry.”

Brendon actually flounced out of the lounge and Jon sighed gratefully, glad to go back to playing his game.

Twenty minutes later, Ryan came in and stood between Jon and the TV screen. “Are you aware,” Ryan said, all but standing there with his hands on his hips and Jon suddenly realized that Ryan reminded him a little of his mom, only a skinny teenaged boy who was… well, not Jon’s mother, so why was he acting like it? “That Brendon is out in the front sulking because you don’t love him?”

“Are you kidding me?” Jon asked, pausing his game and giving Ryan a look of utter disbelief.

“Do I look like I’m kidding you?” Ryan asked, arching one eyebrow and Jon wondered if he really did spend a lot of time on those things. It made Jon’s eyebrows itch just to think about how much Ryan probably tweezed.

“Why is Brendon sulking?” Jon asked, suddenly feeling very confused as he reached up and rubbed in his general eyebrow area.

“Because you don’t love him, because he’s a seven-year-old boy with a crush on a girl two grades up and doesn’t know how to act,” Ryan said.

Huh, thought Jon Walker. This was really the most ridiculous band ever.

Ryan stared at Jon for a few minutes, like that would make Jon get up and do something about Brendon sulking because that would make Ryan’s life so much easier. Jon couldn’t really be doing things to make Ryan’s life easier at this moment, because then Ryan would be unbearable and Jon couldn’t handle that.

Ten minutes later, Jon walked into the front lounge where Brendon was sulking, sucking on gummi bears and getting his fingers unfortunately sticky.

“You know, instead of acting like a little boy on the playground, you could like, kiss me or something. And stop sending Ryan in to do your dirty work, because looking at him when he gets all eyebrow-arch-y makes my eyebrows itch,” Jon said all in one breath.

Brendon blinked at him, his eyes wide and his fingers in his mouth, which he licked obscenely before removing. “Do you actually want me to kiss you?” Brendon asked.

“Only if you want to,” Jon said, then turned around and walked back down the hallway toward the back lounge. “But wash your hands first. I don’t wanna get all sticky.”

Brendon almost tore the faucet off trying to wash his hands.